Thursday, 1 September 2016

Zombie Apocalypse Drills

Have you noticed something, we have fire drills, tsunami drills, and earthquake drills, yet we have never, ever had a drill for a Zombie Apocalypse. A zombie apocalypse is 5X more likely to happen than the labour party winning the next election

Firstly, the practice of these drills is not that hard. You just have to find a high enough place, buy a sawed-off shotgun for every 2 people and enough ammo to save Shane from walking dead. R.I.P Shane.

Secondly, as an alternative, we could prevent the zombie apocalypse in the first place by
A: Cremating people. Ashes can't eat people, corpses can.
B: Tying their shoelaces together. “Zombies can't undo shoelaces.”  -times magazine

Finally, the chances are extremely high that this is going to happen. You are more likely to see Donald Trump naked eating a hen than surviving a zombie apocalypse without these drills. Zombies walk on 2 legs, and you know who else walks on 2 legs, Hitler. Meaning that without these drills we are going to be taken over by Nazi Zombies.
Simple as that.

So there you have it, we should have zombie drills, it is an easy thing to do,
the chances are higher than getting sick
off Havelock North’s water, and it could've saved Shane. #saveshane

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